Chapter 11 Heart

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I want you to forgive this filthy life

That’s begun to flake away from God’s love

I hope that this mechanical voice and heart

Will reach far away to where you are

Emotions and affections destroyed everyone

A night that felt like I was falling from a cliff

“You’re stronger than anyone,” you told me

“You can change everything,” you said

I don’t need to be comforted like that, anymore

No matter how many times we hurt each other

Or how battered we become

I’ll live while absorbing the lives of others

Even if we’re separated

Even if I’m killed

I’ll still be breathing somewhere

Let’s talk about days long past

Let’s talk about a future far from now

Even if no one should remember me

Your memories will bring me back

No matter how many billions or trillions of stars fall

Let’s head for the horizon in a big ship

Blocking off the innocent yet cruel tomorrow

As if to correct some grave mistake,

Let’s forget

I noticed the final signal, and laughed

Pretending that it was nothing

That nothing would change

I choked on the words

Surely, even the fact we lived has been lost

If, for instance, there was no going back,

Neither for you, nor for me

Even if we comfort each other

Even if we fall to pieces

I’ll live while absorbing the lives of others

Even if we’re separated

Even if I’m killed

I swear to you

Even if I’m not born again, or this city sinks,

The throbbing continues to cry at my ear as always

Stab love into my heart

And show me a dream that quietly fades away

—

Stab love into my heart

Even if I were to cease existing

There was some small speck of worth in my filthy life

Since it’s the end,

Please allow me to make that kind of wish